The title of the article was originally “Good is in the details” and it started from the idiom saying “devil is in the details” but the message you will find below has nothing to do with the devil or anything bad, for that matter so I switched to “God is in the details”. Since it has nothing to do with God, religion, spirituality or any magic, but the change it provoques is a positive one, “good is in the details” was born.
I had a funny relationship with details throughout my life. For years I consumed a lot of energy trying to control every detail, that I often lost sight of the big picture. Later I became a graphic designer and the eye for details was an advantage in my work, but still not that much in the personal life, where one has to overlook details they don t like about a spouse, maintaining the focus on the big picture of the happy family, for example.
At one point in my journey I realized how tired I was of paying that much attention to details, so I started looking at the bigger picture, applying a “got enough” mindset sometimes, instead of blocking things due of imperfect details.
Photo by Ravi Kant
Last year, when I officially became a coach, a calling where I feel at home within myself, I learned that this is what I was actually preparing for. Being a coach is about paying attention to the small details that can have a big impact on someone’s well-being and happiness. This means being attentive to a client’s body language, tone of voice and word choice, as well as their goals, values and belief systems.
The words we use with ourselves and with others, when we are in a safe and trusting environment, say a lot about us, our beliefs and offer insights into what we can improve.
Is it my “job” to mirror these details to the client and to support him in trully hearing what stands behind his words.
Here are 2 exercises you can do starting today, one physical and one cognitive, that you can do whenever you have an issue to solve, be it small like “what to have for lunch” or big like “is it ok to leave my job”.
1 Start with your body
I invite you to sit on a comfortable chair or sofa, with back rest, place you back against the sofa and open your arms straight to the left and right, from your shoulder, parallel to the ground. Rest your arms if you can on the sofa, opened at maximum arm span, feel your chest opening, breathe and enjoy this feeling. You COULD do everything you are afraid to even try. This is a posture that is an instant smile for me, please do share how it feels for you.
Photo by Andre Furtado.
2 Back to your mind
Instead of asking yourself “what SHOULD I do?” or “what CAN I do?” in a certain situation, ask yourself “what COULD I do?”.
While SHOULD keeps us blocked in social constructs and other people’s expectations, CAN keeps us blocked in the limitations of the immediate environment, COULD feels like a deep breath on top of the mountain on a clear blue sky kind of day. COULD opens the chest, the heart, the mind.
The word “COULD” is a powerful tool that gives us the ability to imagine and visualize different outcomes and possibilities. It opens up the door for us to explore new ideas and take on new challenges. The power of “could” lies in its versatility, as it can be used to express potential, possibility, and permission. By saying “I could,” we give ourselves the permission to try, to experiment, and to fail without fear of judgment. This simple word has the power to unlock our potential and help us overcome obstacles, making it a valuable tool in personal growth and self-improvement.
Whether it’s in our personal lives or our careers, the power of “could” can be a transformative force, helping us to turn our aspirations into realities. Could is a new found freedom.
And there is also science behind COULD, here is a study called “Does Could Lead to Good? On the Road to Moral Insight” by Ting Zhang, from Harvard University.
So now, what COULD you do, if you believed you are enough, if you allowed yourself to try? What becomes possible now?
If you want to explore more, drop a message and let’s schedule a 30′ chemistry session.